Goblins Make Lousy Interior Designers
by LyssaOneiroi
Summary: Nothing is what it seems, of course when one is as furious as Sarah Williams one tends to ignore that. Of course usually this doesn't mean being trapped in a castle against your will by a Goblin King with revenge on his mind.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Jareth stared intently into a crystal, face harsh, and suddenly stood and threw it against the wall. He picked up a

bottle, gulped a mouthful and slumped on his throne glowering. He waited a few moments and conjured another

crystal. By the ninth he was interrupted by an old man with a long beard and blue eyes twinkling over half-

moon spectacles entering the room from a small door behind the throne. Jareth didn't move. The old man

sighed,

"Jareth, come now, stop moping. Tell me what concerns you. Just a week ago you were overjoyed, all you

could speak about was Sarah this and-"

"Don't speak of her!" Jareth snapped turning around so fast he was a blur.

"Ah, so this _is_ about her. Tell me, what happened to make you so upset? Did she borrow your clothes without

asking? Run off with the Butler?"

"My Butler's a Goblin, Dumbledore." He replied half-smiling.

"So he is. So, what did she do then?"

Jareth scowled suddenly. "She beat the Labyrinth, she rejected me. Wished her Brother away and wouldn't stay,

even when I offered her _everything_."

Dumbledore smiled gently."Ah, I see. She chose to go home with her brother. How old were they?" He asked

mildly. Jareth looked confused,

"She was 15, the brother 1, but I don't see…"

"Don't you? How did she see you? What did she know you as?"

"The villainous Goblin King who stole her baby brother, she couldn't see anything else." Jareth replied bitterly.

"So you blame a 15 year-old girl for refusing a villainous Goblin King who stole her baby brother."Jareth

protested furiously, "I didn't-""It doesn't matter if you didn't, that's what she believed. Just give her time. Now,

I think you need to get away for a bit."

"This 'getting away for a bit' wouldn't involve, oh I don't know, taking a

certain position at a certain school, that you just _happen_ to be a Headmaster at? A position that, coincidentally,

you have been attempting to get me to agree to for, oh, around 10 years now?" He asked dryly.

"Oh but Scotland's just lovely this time of year. I'm sure it will be a lovely Holiday. It might take your mind

off…" He stopped.

"I doubt it." Jareth looked unbelievably sorrowful. "Her cruel eyes are haunting, her soft, dark hair framing her

face… She's perfect." He chuckled, "And so defiant." A glint sparked in his eyes and a smirk grew on his face,

he cocked his head to the side.

"Actually, I think you may be right."

"What?" Dumbledore looked shocked.

"I accept. I'll be there the beginning of September. See you then, bye."

Dumbledore then found himself transported to Minerva McGonagall's bathroom where he was greeted by a

screech and narrowly escaped acquiring a few tentacles. "Oops. My mistake." Came Jareth's disembodied

voice.

Dumbledore frowned petulantly as he then appeared in his office. "Oh dear."

Jareth gestured to a small Goblin near his throne and whispered orders down to him and laughed as it saluted and

ran off. "See you soon precious." He whispered to the crystal."

**Ending's a tad weird but ah well. I actually have a plan for this, so review and I'll update quickly. Next chapter will probably be longer. Feel free to say if you don't like it and I won't carry on. But if you do: Enjoy.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Now, Goblins may not be the cleverest of creatures, well not maybe, they just aren't. If it came to deciding whether a

Goblin was more intelligent or a fungal-ridden cheese, the cheese would probably win. By rather a margin. Of course,

it doesn't take the most intelligent thing in the world to decide that this plan was suicide.

Or homicide, depending what side you were on. Splodge was trying for the winning side, or if not the winning, at least

the: Not-Getting-Bogged-Or-Smeared-On-Throne-Room-Ceiling-By-The-Cleaners-Side, he couldn't quite decide

which side that was, 'cause, though the Lady doesn't have a Bog or Cleaners, she can get real inventive with her

kitchen appliances and Splodge didn't really fancy getting puréed. But then if he didn't do the plan he would be left

with the Bog/Cleaners option which didn't grab him either, well it wasn't his idea. That's all he'll tell Lady Sarah.

Splodge wondered if the King knew Lady Sarah had got a Goblin to steal a crystal. Ah well, only thing she could do with it is the disappearing thing. The King'll handle it.

Sarah threw her bag behind the door and huffed. That had not been the best of days. She'd forgotten her homework and had to serve detention, dropped her lunch down her top and not been able to change and Karen and Dad had to go to a

dinner early meaning she had to walk home in the rain. At least they'd taken Toby. She had been appreciating him a lot more for the last couple of days since the whole 'Labyrinth' episode but after a day like today all she wanted to do was

curl up in bed with a book and a cup of tea. She towelled her chocolate brown hair dry and changed into some heart pyjamas bought by a well-meaning relative and started to boil the kettle. She stretched and caught her reflection in the

window, smiling lazily she made her tea and headed up stairs, pausing to pick up _Pride and Prejudice_ from the shelf in the hall. Yawning she opened the door to the bedroom and…

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

There was no other word for it, Ginny Weasley was bored. Bored stiff, rigid, to death, to tears, and school hadn't even started yet! With Voldemort and the Golden Trio gone it seemed her last year was going to suck, big time. Where was a

sociopathic Dark Lord when you needed one? She'd take anything, a murder, a romance, a friggin' chicken doing the hula, was that really so much to ask? The ferret wasn't even here for Christ's sake and the other Slytherins were too

afraid of her Bat Bogey Hex to even say her hair looked like a carrot! It's times like this when she really missed Tom, at least he provided insane conversation and tips, but at the moment the school reeked of normalcy. Ugh! She listened to Dumbledore's speech **(I'm ignoring Snape and Dumbledore's death.) **for a bit…

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts." And rolled her eyes, nope nothing new. Perhaps she could string Harry along for a while longer just for gossip, but no, too cruel when she'd rather gouge out her eyes and stuff 'em done his throat

than put her tongue down there. Maybe she could date a Slytherin to cause a stir; she ran her eyes along the table 'not if you paid me a million galleons' she thought. Abruptly, the ceiling started to thunder and lightening flashed across it.

"May I introduce Professor Jareth King- our new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher." In strode a tall man with long hair cut short around his face wearing a long black cape and armour. Whispers started around her.

"Who the hell…"

"What's he wearing…"

"Why'd he even bother putting on trousers, they're so tight he may as well not have bothered…"

"What's up with his hair…"

"He's gorgeous…"

Ginny smirked. That'd do.

Jareth was having a rather splendid day. A quick check in with Splodge who said everything was going as planned and, of course, a perfect entrance. He smirked as he headed to the staff table and some nearby girls swooned, ah he'd still

got it. He looked up at Dumbledore and caught his twinkling eyes. He turned and bowed to the school and said wryly,

"I also accept Sir, Goblin King, Sire or –my particular favourite- Your Majesty." A redheaded girl clapped mockingly,

the rest of the school still too shocked to follow her lead. Jareth rolled his eyes and turned to sit down, and paused catching a smell in the air. He spun around and stalked towards the Red haired girl.

"What's your name?"

"Ginevra Weasley, your Majesty." She drawled. He smirked, yep, Des. Knew that smell anywhere question was, just

what was he doing with Miss Weasley?

"Well, Miss Weasley." How to phrase this? "Made any new friends recently?" She was looking suspicious now.

"No, should I have?" She asked forming an innocent smile. Jareth looked at her robes and laughed.

"You should'a been a Slytherin, Miss Weasley." Dumbledore cleared his throat and looked at him pointedly, Jareth looked around and noticed everyone's face riveted on them.

"Perhaps we ought to leave this conversation 'til later, your Majesty" Ginny said clearly picking up on the same thing.

"Of course, Miss Weasley." Jareth walked to the staff table and sat down, absorbed in thought as Dumbledore started

the feast, not noticing the curious looks everyone gave him. He formed a crystal, ignoring the gasps and quickly muttered into it.

"Des? Des? You there? Huh." He got no answer and threw it away. He tapped his chin.

What would Des want with a mortal girl? The fae who's hunted and hated humans for centuries. He wouldn't just turn

around and befriend one and there'd been nothing visibly wrong with her. So why was she covered with his scent. Unless… He crooked his finger and a black crystal flew from the girl, satisfied he let it go. Watching her then. Why?

Just then the doors flew open and crashed against the wall.

"JARETH!!!!!"

Ah, his future Queen had just arrived.

Ok, I'm having a poll for the relationship between 'Des' and Ginny please vote. And review!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Bog water, on my sheets soaked through to my bed, all over my clothes. Dirt, up my walls, all over the floor and on the _ceiling_. It will take me _days_ to clean up and I'll never get the smell out you stinking, chicken molesting toe-rag!" Sarah shrieked, punctuating every sentence by banging the Goblin onto the floor by it's neck.

"Not my fault, not my idea Lady! Splodge promise!" Splodge squealed in fear for his life thinking he should have

gone with the bog. "It was King! King said to!" Displaying the admirable loyalty all Goblins feel for their sovereign. Sarah paused.

"The King?" She snarled.

"Yes, yes Lady! King!" Splodge cried falling to his knees in relief. Sarah's eyes narrowed dangerously, her face turning red. She stalked to her dresser, avoiding the stains and miscellaneous objects the Goblin had strewn, and

pulled out a clear crystal. She looked at it for a moment quizzically, shrugged and threw it up in the air, she disappeared in a cloud of glitter. Splodge gulped, the King was a goner.

She appeared outside large doors in a sort of foyer, the crystal pulled towards them.

"In there is he? Right." Still seeing red, Sarah saw her bedroom again and almost went cross-eyed. She threw open the doors so they banged against the walls.

"JARETH!!!!!!" A huge sea of faces turned towards her, some pointing sticks at her. Heedlessly, she marched towards him, fists clenching. He looked inordinately pleased to see her. That'd change. Fast.

"Sarah! Light of my life, Queen of my heart (and hopefully my Kingdom soon) what on earth are _you _doing here?" The egotistical twit was grinning at her. _Grinning._

"You idiot!"

"I love you too."

"Narcissistic, cheating, brainless, inconsiderate, glitter-producing, imbecile!"

"Carry on like that and I might get hurt darling!"

"Did you even think about what Karen will _do_ t me when she smells that? I have to live in that room for another 4 or 5 _years_ and not only will it _stink_, the dirt will _stain_ and judging by the movements of some of the rotting food that _delightful _Goblin, I'll need to fumigate it as well!" She was pratically sobbing by the end of this.

"You are such a prat, Jareth, and I'd rather eat radioactive strawberries than marry you!" She snarled.

"Really Sarah, strawberries? I'd've thought you'd have gone with peaches, dear. Fond memories and all."

"What? Of smashing the ballroom up? Yes that was quite exciting, but the rest of the dream was so dull, I'd recommend shoving the peaches up your arse rather than offering them to anyone, you never know, it might dislodge the stick!" Sarah was fast becoming incoherent.

"Ouch Sarah, but what do you want _me_ to do about it. Besides, it shouldn't bother you now, after all, it's not like you have to live there."

"What?! I just said I'm there for another 4 years at least!"

"Provided you can get back. By the way, love the pyjamas they really suit you, of course, I'm sure they would look even more charming on the floor." Sarah flushed a bit then…

"What do you mean _provided_, of-"

"How did you get here?"

"How do you _think_ I got here? Train?"

"You used a crystal, and how many of those do you have?"

"Just the one, it was bad enough-"

"One, how many do you have now?" She rolled her eyes

"None I-Oh." Her eyes widened and her lips parted. Making a herculean effort Jareth ignored this and smirked.

"Exactly."

"Well, you can just send me home, Jareth." Sarah raised her eyebrows. Examining his nails and cocking his head Jareth asked,

"Why, precious, would I want to do that?" She lunged for his throat, he caught her hands and bared his teeth in a grin pulling her closer to him.

"Careful now, precious, we wouldn't want you to get hurt." He said mildly, looking down at her. Realising exactly what the view afforded him, Sarah stepped away and hissed,

"Keep me here, Goblin King, and I'll make your life a living nightmare." She spun on her heel and headed towards the door, not hearing Jareth whisper,

"No more than it is without you."

*******************************************************************************************

Now this was just fantastic.

A weird looking bloke turned up, creating a thunderstorm from nothing.

He turns out to be the new DADA teacher.

He interrogates her about 'new friends' which admittedly she doesn't get, but…

Then he creates a sort of bubble thing.

And summons one from _her._

Then a crazy lady with apparently homicidal intentions towards earlier-mentioned weird-looking bloke.

_And _this 'Goblin King' was in love with her!

Potential murder _and_ a romance, all she was missing was the chicken and, if things carried on at this rate, that should be forthcoming at any time! Although, if things _did_ carry on at this rate, they could probably expect some of the Hufflepuffs to have conniptions. Ah well, she didn't like them anyway. Oh happy day! Excitement at long last! The hall was breaking out in murmurs, oooh, a scandal. Ginny was feeling positively giddy, she felt like clapping her hands and cackling.

Now, all she had to do was think what to do about the situation. She liked the look of the girl in pyjamas and she'd probably be feeling so lost stuck here. Ginny felt a stab of sympathy. She looked towards Professor King who looked as though all his Christmases had come at once. Dumbledore was standing now, ready to explain to (and mollify) the students. The hall fell silent. She took advantage.

"Sir!" Dumbledore looked down at her.

"Yes, Miss Weasley?" She took a deep breath and thought how to present her case.

"Sir, I was just thinking, the girl. She looked like a Muggle; she must be feeling a little lost. I thought I might go to her, get her something to eat, maybe…" She trailed off, raising her eyebrows inquiringly. Dumbledore looked towards Jareth then answered.

"That seems like a good idea, Miss Weasley. Get her settled in your dorm, as it appears she will be staying with us, if you would also be so kind as to lend her some clothes, or perhaps a dorm-mate, if you need help tp do modifications I'm sure a member of staff would help." He smiled at her.

"Thanks, Professor!" She jumped up and scurried after the girl.

Sarah couldn't believe she had been so monumentally stupid. She had forgotten, in her rage, who she was dealing with, not that that was an excuse. Ugh, now she was stuck here. She kicked at some dirt. A flash of red appeared at the door as she glanced back, when she turned around she saw it was a girl. Curiously she waited until she was in front of her. She was breathing heavily, so Sarah started the introductions.

"Hi, I'm Sarah Williams, who are you?" She offered her hand. The girl shook it warmly, smiling mischievously.

"Hi I'm Ginevra Weasley, feel free to call me Ginny though." She replied, mock shivering when she said her first name. "If you want to come with me, we can see about food and hot chocolate, and some clothes." Sarah blushed, feeling embarrassed about her obvious dependence. Ginny looked at her, correctly interpreting her expression and took hold of her arm.

"I sort of know how you feel," she said quietly, "my family doesn't have much money so I always have worn and second-hand things but I hate when people give me things for free-like I'm some sort of charity. Makes me think they're taking a pop at my parents." She got a furious and determined look on her face as she said, "but they love me and that's all that should matter." She looked down, "not that anyone gets that, they don't understand."

Sarah looked at her, really looked. Ginny had huge blue eyes, their sparkle muted at the current subject, a ghost of dimples, freckles and, of course, the bright red hair. With her sharp features and grin, she reminded her of a picture of a fey-creature she'd seen framed in an antique shop.

"Yeah, that's all that should matter. My Dad loves me, so I know. It doesn't always feel like it but…" She shook her head, "my Mum left, oh ages ago, then my Dad re-married. I was determined to hate her," she laughed. "My evil step-mother, then she got pregnant. Toby was, well, a target I suppose. Then I… wished him away to the goblins."

"What?" Ginny turned to face her and Sarah told her. It was kind of nice to get it off of her chest and when she'd finished telling Ginny about what happened today she started to giggle. Ginny joined in and when they walked back to castle they were in hysterics. When they'd finished Ginny started talking herself, about Tom and Harry and the War and magic and what Jareth had done before Sarah had arrived.

"…and you can imagine how surprised I was when an insane girl in pyjamas turned up and started yelling at my teacher and trying to throttle him!" This sent them into another set of giggles.

"Well, although, admittedly I have had the worst week of my life but at least I've made a friend. I wonder what Jareth meant just walking up to you and asking questions."

"Really, jealous?" Ginny asked raising an eyebrow. Sarah snorted, "as if."

"Seriously, though, Sarah. He's in love with you, you know."

"Don't be ridiculous, he is not."

"Whatever you say Sarah-precious." She trilled. "Let's go to the kitchens and then I'll show you the dorms."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"What can we get for misses? Would you like bread? Cake? Cheese? Sweets? Chicken? Yoghurt? Ice-cream? Tea? Coffee? Chocolate? Hot chocolate? Marshmallows? Soup?..." The house elf wasn't breathing it was talking so fast, Ginny glanced at Sarah. 'Hmm' she thought, 'perhaps I ought to have warned her, she looks floored. Imagine what Professor King would say if the next time he saw her she was a gibbering?' Ginny paused to enjoy the mental picture and shook her head.

"We'll have Hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows." She said quickly, thinking she'd miss Sarah if she had to be taken to a mental institution. Five cups were offered at once, rolling her eyes Ginny took one and thanked the House elves, motioning for Sarah to do the same. She copied and the house elves appeared to be on the verge of tears from the praise, grabbing Sarah, Ginny pulled her out of the kitchen so fast it was like she'd apparated. And then someone really did- right behind Sarah in an explosion of glitter.

Yep, that's right; it was the tooth fairy come to praise her oral hygiene habits. Of course, generally when people picture the tooth fairy they don't picture a man with blond spiky hair, mismatched eyes and a wardrobe to make a nun faint. Although, even though Jareth admittedly _wasn't_ the tooth fairy, Ginny was fairly sure he wouldn't mind testing Sarah's oral hygiene. As soon as possible and extremely thoroughly.

"Professor King. What a surprise." Ginny said dryly.

"Miss Weasley." He nodded at her.

"Hang on a minute! How come you're not surprised to see him? Am I the only one who was surprised when Mr. Glitter appeared out of nowhere?" Sarah demanded.

"It's just common sense." Ginny looked down her nose at Sarah, went cross-eyed and gave up. "Judging from both his entrance to the hall, sexual banter and the fact he loves you," Sarah opened her mouth to protest at this but Ginny barrelled on, "it only made sense he'd appear at an unexpected time where you would either fall into his arms or somewhere awkward. Personally I thought it'd be the bath, but apparently, his majesty's got manners." Ginny looked a bit disappointed.

"The bath? Dammit! I'll remember that one next time." Jareth cursed. Sarah squeaked and glared at Ginny. She smiled and looked away. Jareth glanced at her with a quizzical expression,

"Something bothering you?" She enquired, raising an eyebrow. He fidgeted for a bit and then asked,

"Miss Weasley… Have you ever met a… Man with black hair sort of like mine but short and kind of… Yellow eyes?" Ginny looked at him as though he were insane and stage whispered to Sarah,

"His brain's short-circuiting, it's the trousers. Perfect excuse for you to get them off, hey I'll even show you to the nearest broom closet!" Jareth brightened and then flinched,

"Oh the agony, my brain, my brain. It's the trousers I'm sure, is there no-one to drag me to the nearest closet and help me?" He looked pointedly at Sarah, who glared.

"It's a conspiracy." She muttered darkly. Ginny giggled, then she looked evaluatingly at Jareth.

"Why are you so interested in my friends, your Majesty?"

"Why do you call me your Majesty?" She looked puzzled.

"That's what you told us to call you."

"Everyone else thought it was a joke; you said it perfectly seriously then, why?" She pursed her lips and cocked her head.

"I…I don't really know. Well, I suppose I do, the voice in my head called you that so I thought I should too." Sarah and Jareth just stared, she blushed.

"Hey! It's true, I'm not lying, it's been in my head for ages now, since first year. The whole thing with Tom, it really helped me you know. I'd talk about things with it, the only help I got here was a mug of Hot Chocolate, it was hard, trusting a voice especially just then but I haven't had blackouts or been told to do bad things." She looked defensive. "After a while, it was just normal. I didn't tell anyone 'cause they'd be worried, I'm not insane! I think. Lots of people hear voices! Even famous people, Malaren the Mad… er, bad example; Imogene the insane, forget that. OK I'm crazy, but I'm alright with that and I don't hurt people so… You won't tell my parents will you?" She shuffled and looked embarrassed.

Sarah put an arm around her and hugged her.

"You're not insane, don't worry. I talk to people who aren't there; I've also heard voices a time or two." Jareth looked a bit uncomfortable; Sarah narrowed her eyes at him.

"It was you wasn't it."

"I was curious…"

"So you invaded my head!"

"Sarah, you're making a way to big a deal out of this…"

"Says you!"

"The Fae do it all the time!" Sarah paused.

"Do you think a Fae might have something to do with Ginny's voice?"

"I do." He replied grimly.

"You may now kiss the bride." Ginny intoned, they looked at her with identical expressions of amusement. She giggled, "Sorry skipped a few chapters."

"You skipped reality if you think that's gonna happen." Sarah informed her.

"How you wound me Sarah." Jareth sounded injured, then he turned to Ginny half-smile gone.

"Now, Miss Weasley, did the voice tell you it's name?"

"Yes." Ginny replied reluctantly.

"Well? What is it?"

"He doesn't want me to say. He says to trust him, that I shouldn't tell, he's been there for me. He's saying you mean well but you don't know what you're doing and to stop prying." Tears had formed in her eyes. "I can't betray him."

"You won't be, just tell me. I won't do anything to him unless he's bad news. Just tell me."

"He says you'll misunderstand his intentions." He growled,

"Just bloody well tell me girl!"

"I… Des."

"Des_demona_?" He asked incredulously.

"Ouch, I can see why he goes by Des." Sarah remarked. "What, was his Mother stoned?"

"_Not at the time_." Ginny and Jareth answered together.

"This is bad, Miss Weasley. Des is a dear friend but, he hates humans desperately. He loathes humanity, he's my half-brother, my Mother was stranded aboveground exposed to iron, she was unable to do magic and she was… raped by a human."

"He's half-human?"

"He was. The underground isn't really human-friendly, they all get- converted- into a species of Faerie. With Des it was easy, he was already half-fae. My Mother died in childbirth and Father hasn't ever forgiven him. He named him you know. Desdemona, it means unlucky."

"But it wasn't his fault!" Ginny cried out. "How can he blame him for…" She turned to Sarah.

"I'll show you the dorms. I need some time to think."

"Be careful, Miss Weasley, Des does whatever he can to carry out revenge on the whole human race, he's my brother and I love him but he resents humans deeply."

"I'll be fine. Come on Sarah. Bye your- _Professor_." She spoke coldly and stalked down the corridor, a worried Sarah trailing behind.

**(First person GPOV)**

I sat in the toilet ignoring Myrtle's wails. How could he! Manipulating her so well into trusting him. Biding his time, just evicted a snake? Get another one free, yeah that's me, 'Arseholes 'R' Us'., do the Fates really want me dead? Survived an adolescent Dark Lord with a Basilisk, let's see what a vengeful, bigoted fae can do. Huh.

_Ginny, you know that's not right. What? Six years into making you trust me without a single attempt on your life? Angel, you credit me with too much patience._

As if I can trust anything you say! Des's voice was angry now.

_When have I lied to you _he demanded_ you've trusted me for years and nothing bad has happened!_

Do you hate humans? A pause and then a reluctant _yes_, then how can I trust you when you hate me!

_I don't hate you!_

I'm human!

_You're- different._

I'm still human, Des a species you hate.

_Everythings changeable Angel and don't you forget it. What's up will come down. _His voice was soft. _What the truth is today is a lie tomorrow. A lie today maybe truth tomorrow. _Even softer now. _What is today may not be tomorrow._ And his presence disappeared completely from my mind for the first time in six years. I should feel free, I don't, I feel naked.

He smashed a black crystal and ran his hands through his spiky black hair, gold eyes flashing. He rubbed a hand over his sharp features and sank onto his throne, lightening flashing outside the window.

He chuckled,

"I understand what you mean now Jareth." At the mention of his name a clear crystal rolled towards him.

"Fine, visit tomorrow evening Jareth." He snapped testily.

The crystal exploded. That'll be a meeting to look forwards to.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Bunnies, yellow bunnies, bunnies with one blue eye, bunnies with one brown eye, bunnies with… Wait a minute, the bunnies have spiky blonde hair and mismatched eyes, she didn't need them to start singing Magic Dance to figure out who they were supposed to be, of course, they did anyway. Sarah jolted awake and knocked Ginny to the floor. She sat up and grinned.

"Good Morning!"

Sarah looked at the suspiciously cheerful witch.

"Weren't you depressed yesterday, Ginny?" She wondered if she'd hallucinated yesterday's conversation, after all Jareth had been was almost rational so she supposed it was possible.

"I was indeed!" Scratch the hallucination theory.

"What changed?" Ginny looked around at the sleeping girls in her dormitory and beckoned her closer.

"You must keep this a secret." She sat on the bed and drew the hangings.

"Right. Des and I were arguing and he left my mind. He hasn't done that for six years so I sort of felt lonely, so I followed him in my mind. I overheard him invite His Nibs to go to his… Castle thingy, this evening! It's going to be hilarious and I might learn something!"

"Learning? But we're at a school Ginny, that's not allowed!" Sarah whispered sarcastically. "Anyway, I want to hear too!"

"Well, let's see if you can spy on His Majesty. All you have to do is- pretend your mind is a hand and reach for Jareth, the voice you hear sometimes."

"What if he knows I'm there?"

"Keep it vague, unless he's concentrating I don't see why he would. The only reason _I _noticed was because I was so used to having Des with me. It makes the vibrations different."

"Huh?" Sarah was looking rather blank.

"Just try what I told you, think of him as like, a smell."

"A smell. Well here goes nothing."

_What a bunch of idiots. They spell like my goblins, who knew the different types of 'there' were so hard? And spelling weird 'weird' is just disgraceful. Why the hell did I let Albus talk me into this? Right, Sarah, just have to bear that in mind when dealing with the miserable cretins. After all, _I _may not have power over her but at least the laws of physics do. In this instance it's a shame they're not more prevalent underground. At least I'd be on home ground. _

"I hear him! I see what you mean as well! He's like peppermint." Bouncing up and down.

"Fantastic! That was fast. Mind you, you did spend some time in the Underground recently, maybe that's- lovely weather we're having!"

"What?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Well it's quite- warm for this type of year, yes? But perhaps I shouldn't comment it might be _unlucky_ and then we'd get loads of rain that would quite spoil any _meetings _we might have_._" Ginny tilted her head.

"Oh! Oh yes, yes, I quite agree! I'll just be here reading a book until everyone wakes up and you have to get ready for class"

**What, Des?**

_Can I no longer have a discussion with you? I must say Ginny, that conversation was quite… pointed. Keeping secrets are we? Honestly, I thought I taught you better about lying._

**Indeed you did Des, I am now quite proficient.**

_Evidently not._

**I don't know what you mean, I am quite sure that my talk with Sarah was very advantageous; to myself and Sarah of course, I am becoming very fond of her.**

_Sarah? That's Jareth's human lover right?_

**She doesn't talk to him Des, she's not Jareth's **_**anything**_**unless you count sexual fantasy, in which case she's his one and only.**

_Really? Well, we'll see._

**Does he love her? It **_**seems**_** so but I want to make sure, after all he's your half-brother. We can't trust anything he says.**

_You wound me Angel. How am I supposed to know the inner workings of his mind? Speaking of trust, you haven't asked any questions of me, you're usually so curious, shy?_

**As if. I'll find out without asking you! How do I know if you're lying or not?**

_I wouldn't lie to you Angel. How will you find out then, dearest? Who would know but me? If you think to ask Jareth, the man is so besotted he doesn't notice if goblins attempt at candyfloss started running around the throne room, juggling flaming torches and performing a passable rendition of Swan Lake._

**How… Vivid.**

_Traumatic experiences tend to imprint on one's memory._

**Indeed. **She replied thinking of Tom.

_Stop thinking about him! _Des's voice was a bit harsh.

**Why?**

_I don't like it!_

**Awfully sorry **_**your majesty.**_

_Ah, it's time you acknowledged my title._

**Shut up.**

The other girls started to stir. Ginny tapped Sarah on the shoulder.

"Time to get ready."

And so commenced the scramble to the bathroom.

Ginny dragged Sarah down to the hall, neatly avoiding bewildered first years. She ducked behind a statue as Peeves passed and towed Sarah to an empty space on the Gryffindor table. A Seventh Year Ravenclaw looked over. She pulled Sarah's head down.

"Old boyfriend." She explained at her new friends enquiring look.

"Ahhh."

"Duck." A roll passed over their heads. After a while of strategic dodging, Professor McGonagall started handing out schedules, the two girls huddled over Ginny's.

"You coming to class?"

"Sure, what else would I do?"

"I reckon when brought you here Jareth thought you'd spend every second with him."

"Ginny, I'm sure he absolutely hates me, I beat him and he strikes me as the sore-loser type."

A bunch of Gerberas landed in front of her. Ginny looked at the card.

"Yep. He hates you."

"How the hell did he know my favourite flower?"

"You're missing the point." Ginny shook her head. "Never mind. Come on we have Potions first, that's always good for entertainment."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Snape makes cruel remarks to other Gryffindors; some of them go so red they look like they're going to explode! It's hilarious!"

"It wouldn't be funny if it were you though."

"Well, I'd have the joy of coming up with polite put-downs so it would be a little fun."

"Point."

"Plus, I'm Snape's favourite Gryffindor, if there is such thing."

"He's head of Slytherin, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you certainly belong there; no wonder he likes you better than the others!"

"Mmmm. The only reason I'm in Gryffindor is my family. Which is a shame actually, I look good in green."

They started walking towards the dungeons and sat at the back together. The rest of the class filtered in after a few minutes and then, in strode Hogwart's favourite Potions Master/Spy: Professor Snape.

Dum, dum, dum! Sorry that wasn't as fast as usual. Anyhoo, I'm co-writing a little Twilight fic with Killer Teddybear, it's just scenes in Twilight that we just thought- It's impossible to be that nice. So we wrote a couple as we would have reacted. They're humour, by the way. Oh! And thanks to people who reviewed, although I'd appreciate some more! The next chapter won't be up for a while 'cause I'm going away for a while and there's no internet access *sniff* so bye for now.

LyssaOneiroi


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

BANG! Ginny looked up to see Professor Snape striding into the classroom, she smirked at Sarah who raised an eyebrow back, green eyes sparkling.

"Miss Weasley, would you care to tell us what is amusing?" Snape was glaring at them across the classroom.

"Of course, Sir." Snape paused a moment.

"Well?"

"Well Sir, you see, I was thinking of various nefarious schemes I have planned for the day."

"Various, nefarious schemes?" Snape drawled.

"Indeed Sir." Ginny smiled again, but not allowing her thoughts to stray to the schemes themselves just the ideas of them, she could feel Des stirring in her mind with interest. _Good, pique his curiosity,_ she thought, _he won't suspect or stop us, it won't occur to him, it just becomes more interesting the more suspicious and cautious he is._ Ginny rather resembled a Cheshire cat or possibly an alligator with her grin. Snape was beginning to feel worried.

"Is there a particular reason you felt the need to rehash them in my lesson?" The eyebrow was getting a good workout this lesson.

"Not at all Sir, which is why I immediately stopped as soon as the lesson began."

"Yet you were smiling after the lesson began."

"A delayed reaction." She replied with aplomb. "I shall certainly refrain from appearing happy in Potions in future, Sir!" The corner of Snape's mouth twitched.

"See that you do. Oh and Miss Weasley? 10 points from Gryffindor for cheek."

"Of course." Snape waved his wand at the board.

"Instructions are on the board, some of these ingredients are expensive. Mistakes will not be tolerated." He said threateningly, then with a disdainful glance at the Gryffindors added,

"Incompetence is not an excuse."

The students set to work on their Potions some giving curious looks towards Sarah. Ginny showed Sarah how to prepare some ingredients and just as she was grinding some kneazle brain into a paste Snape's voice came from behind her.

"And just what do you think you are doing in my classroom? Miss…?"

"Williams, Professor."

"Miss Williams."

"Excuse me Sir, the Headmaster told me to look after Sarah here. That would be difficult to do if she were someplace else."

"Another twenty points for impertinence, Miss Weasley, one would have thought you would have learnt the first time. As for Miss Williams, she has neither the magical ability nor the schooling of even the most imbecilic of my pupils."

Ginny looked pointedly in the direction of Julie Knox who was gossiping to her friend and about to put an explosive (and extremely flammable) ingredient into her Potion. Snape snatched it from her hand and vanished her Potion sending her from the room.

"Meaning she is at least on par with Miss Knox." Snape had a martyred expression.

"Carry on, Miss Weasley, Miss Williams. Miss Williams is your responsibility, Miss Weasley, I will hold you personally responsible for any mistakes she makes."

"Yes Sir."

Snape didn't bother to reply and swept away. Sarah giggled a little and carried on.

Ginny linked arms with Sarah as they strolled out of the Potions classroom.

"See? Now wasn't that fun?"

"Definitely, think how much we learnt!"

"I know!"

A few students were looking at them weirdly at this point.

"Who knew it was possible for McCormak to turn that shade of puce."

"Yeah, I never thought I'd see someone go so pale they were transparent, literally!"

"I think that was more to do with her shaking hands and spilt Potion, Sarah."

"Still, even the shaking was impressive. Snape's my new hero!"

The looks were turning into glares.

"Oh yes. It takes skill to cause that much terror with a blink."

"To be fair, it was a very _menacing_ blink."

"Mmmm, and no-one threw-up! Makes me proud to be a Gryffindor it does." She sniffed.

"I quite see what you mean, the quintessence of bravery!"

They burst out laughing.

"Well, onto Transfiguration." They giggled and marched down the corridor dramatically.

"Excuse me, Professor."

"Yes Miss Weasley?"

"This is Sarah Williams; she was transported here last night, would you mind her sitting in the lesson? It's just she's still a tad overwhelmed and wanted to stay with me…" Ginny managed to combine shyness, eagerness and hopefulness all in one expression while somehow still appearing utterly sincere. McGonagall's face softened almost imperceptibly as she looked at Sarah who quickly glanced down and gave a shy smile.

"I would be happy for Miss Williams to stay this lesson; she may observe you, Miss Weasley. Be sure to answer any questions."

Sarah allowed her face to brighten and thanked her quietly.

"Why did we ask Professor McGonagall if I could observe but not Professor Snape?" They sat down near the back.

"Well. McGonagall reacts better to manners and she actually has a heart. Snape, on the other hand, has no heart and wouldn't have reacted well anyway; I was kind of hoping he wouldn't notice you but oh well, all's well that ends well, eh?"

"Indubitably."

Ginny grabbed Sarah by the arm on the way to Lunch and indicated an empty classroom.

"Sorry if you're hungry but we can get something from the kitchen later so…"

"It's fine. What's the matter?" Ginny glanced around and lowered her voice.

"Des isn't listening but he's still there so if I feel him start to listen I'll say potato."

"Potato?" Sarah raised an eyebrow.

"Hey! It was the first thing I thought of! Anyway, we have DADA next, with his Nibs so I wanted to warn you. I've been hinting rather strongly about tonight so Des'll be on his guard but won't actually have a clue, feel free to do the same with Jareth. That'll mean they'll focus on physical barriers making penetrating their minds will be easier than ever." She paused. "Plus seeing them flounder 'round is amusing."

"I agree."

"On the off chance they're CONSTANTLY VIGILANT, as Moody would say-"

"Who?"

"I'll tell you later- and they're cryptic or-they're not at all CONSTANTLY VIGILANT- and reveal dastardly plans, I just wanted to say that I'm quite sure that Jareth loves your guts."

"Quite the romantic aren't you?"

"Oh yes, all of my brothers comment on how sappy I am."

"…That explains so much."

"Also that that should have no bearing whatsoever on the revenge we undergo if they reveal said dastardly plans."

"Gotcha."

"Great let's go."

"Sarah precious! How delightful!" He grinned at her, she briefly contemplated bearing her teeth back and hissing but figured he had longer canines and would win. Ah well.

"Jareth." She replied frostily with a scowl.

"Ginny angel! How wonderful!" An identical grin strode from behind him.

"Des?" Ginny's reply was less frosty and more what-the-hell-is-going-on, the scowl afterwards was quite similar, however.

"In the flesh!"

"Remarkable that." Ginny's voice was starting to freeze over.

"And what would that be, Ginny dear?" Sarah spat through gritted teeth.

"That our two least favourite people have managed to turn up _in the flesh_ at the same time. Quite… Remarkable."

"Yes. One would almost think it was- planned."

"Co-ordinated."

"Deliberate." With every word they took a step closer.

"Of course that would make perfect sense." Ginny narrowed her eyes. "After all, you can't expect Des here to think for himself, oh no! He's got to wait until he has a partner to fall back on."

"Ginevra!" Des's yellow hawkish eyes were darkening.

"Six years, I practically begged you, _begged_, to come talk to me. _Oh Des I'm so lonely won't talk to me? Not in my mind, come here oh __**please**__ Des?_ I guess assuring me of my sanity wasn't a good enough reason to put in an appearance but losing your little puppet is? Well guess what Des? You can bugger off!" There was a crowd forming around them. Sarah sneered.

"I'm not surprised about Jareth here putting in an appearance, he just can't seem to get the fact I want him to leave me alone! _Oh everything you've asked for I've done_, hah! Everything except bloody handing my brother back and sending me home! Huh I guess that's just not _convenient_ for you. _Move the stars? Sure! But can it wait 'til after lunch? I'm starved!_"

"I did give your brother back! He's at home right now isn't he? If I'd really wanted him he'd be underground breeding chickens right now!"

"Don't worry Sarah, they're obviously both socially inept. Kidnapping was probably his way of asking you out, you know, like a kid in the playground hitting the girl he fancies."  
"Well, if that's what he does for a date imagine what he'd do proposing! He'd probably get my friends and family and hold the over a pit of red caps!"

"You're welcome to find out precious." The tone was light the expression was not. In fact it was about as light as Voldemort was Muggle-friendly. Des snarled at the students,"In! What are you waiting for? Engraved invites? In!" he grabbed Ginny as she went past, "I'll talk to you later." He snapped.

Jareth hissed "Likewise." To Sarah.

"I am Professor King, evidently I am your new Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher. Today we are going to learn about shields and wards in battle. Turn to page 36." There was muttering as the class turned to the right page.

"Silently!" Jareth scowled. The talking died down after a bit but a few were still ignoring him. He formed a crystal and threw it at them, there was complete silence and then a few students started to touch their mouths, unable to speak.

Ginny passed a note to Sarah.(_**Ginny**_ _Sarah_)

_**Cool I wish I knew how to do that!**_

_Yeah, is he going to take it off when he calls on someone?_

_**Probably. I wonder if he can take it off of one person at a time?**_

"Miss Weasley, which shields have you studied so far?"

"Mostly protego, we did that silently as well."

_**That answers that.**_

_Yeah, I tried to talk seems like he can take it off one person at a time._

"Pair up and practice the correct protego to use in different situations. Off you go."

"Sarah, you can watch me." A Ravenclaw with huge blue eyes paired with Ginny.

"Oi!" A boy came over to her and asked if she had a partner.

"Oh no! I'm just watching, I'm a Muggle you see, I'm trapped here for a while."

"Oh right, well if you need anything-"

"A Muggle! Merlin! They let all sorts of trash in here nowadays!" Ginny materialised beside her.

"Quite right Pucey, after all you're here aren't you? Now get lost you inbred, emasculated moron!"

"I don't take orders from a blood traitor whore like you! _Furnunculus_!" He shot the curse at Sarah. Ginny blocked it and sent a bat bogey hex. She got caught up in a duel with the boy and didn't notice Pucey's friend sending another hex at Sarah. A blur intercepted it and before anyone could blink Jareth was holding the boy by the throat. Des strode over glaring at them, he glanced at Ginny, still caught up and said,

"Enough." Radiating power.

They froze. Ginny hurried to Sarah to check on her and they both looked at Jareth. He released the boy and snapped at the rest of the students,

"Classed dismissed!" Sarah and Ginny turned to go.

"Not you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Ginny grimaced,

"Why me?"

"God must hate us." Sarah's reply was no less woeful as she turned around to go back into the classroom. They exchanged a look; Ginny nodded and squared her shoulders. She sauntered to a desk and perched on it shifting slightly to give Sarah room when she followed.

"So, what's up? You both look like a Goblin pulled down your trousers…"

"In public…" Sarah chipped in,

"And shoved ice in your underwear…"

"Mixed with bog water!" She finished triumphantly "assuming you wear underwear." At Jareth's leer Sarah added quickly,

"And no we don't want to check!" Jareth pouted then Sarah muttered something intelligible but Des's stony look hadn't vanished, Ginny shot a glance towards him. _Great, Jareth's already practically forgiven Sarah, why do I have to have the difficult one?_ Ginny's eyes widened,

_No way did I just think that! Jareth and Sarah are all… Jareth-and-Sarah-y, me and Des are _**so **_not… Jareth-and-Sarah-y._

_**Obviously not, Angel.**_

_Thank you! Uh oh, Angel? Oh damn, please tell me I'm insane and that Des wasn't listening to my thoughts just then!_

"You're insane and I wasn't listening to your thoughts just then." He looked amused.

_Damn!_

Sarah was looking at her weirdly, she blushed fiercely turning the same colour as her hair, trying desperately to ignore the smirk on her friend's face.

_Please God, I need a distraction. Urgh! Where's a chicken hula-dancing when you need one!_

_**You know, that's the second time you've wanted a chicken doing the hula. I'm starting to get disturbed, although it makes you extremely easy to shop for, Christmas will be amusing. I can just see the look on your Mother's face now. **_

_Stop it!_

_**You never protested before!**_

_I was but a mere child then, naïve to the ways of the world!_

_**Ah yes, it's amazing how one can mature in, what's it been? Two days? Maybe three? **_A pause. _**And what do you bloody well mean you **_**were**_** 'naïve to the ways of the world' you'd better still be! Good Lord, leave you alone for 48 hours…**_

_I didn't mean it like that!_ She was blushing so much she was probably glowing, next thing you know she'd be on top of a lighthouse.

_**You have the weirdest imagination.**_

She stuck out her tongue at him mentally.

_**Promises, promises.**_

She squeaked indignantly.

_Anyway, what would you have done if I weren't. _

_**Skipping back a few comments? **_The light-hearted tone vanished. _**I'd have killed him. **_

_What if he were, like, Voldemort or Dumbledore _she shuddered at that mental image.

_**What? Old? Huh, well each to her own.**_

_No! Powerful! _

_**Doesn't matter, even if the bloke had been a Titan he'd still be pushing up daisies.**_

_What about… _She cast about for someone… _Jareth?_

He glanced pointedly at the smitten Monarch.

_**Yeah that'd happen. But if he did go insane or something, shared blood would not save him.**_

_Why? _She felt a bit hopeful but she quashed that immediately, hoping he hadn't noticed. He didn't appear to have, and… He shrugged.

"Come on Ginny." Sarah's voice was cold. Ginny jumped. "Let's go to dinner." She swept out leaving Ginny jogging to keep up.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

(Sarah's POV on what just happened. Yay! J/S action!)

"And no we don't want to check!" I murmured, "not that we need to check anything with those leggings!" Jareth smirked at me,

oh God! He did not hear that! He did not hear that!

**Oh, but I'm afraid I did precious!**

Stay out of my thoughts, you interfering pig, remember, eavesdroppers never hear well of themselves!

**Oh I don't know, I quite like your thoughts.**

I bet it's a sock! I shot spitefully. Before he could reply I noticed Ginny start blushing enough that I was having thoughts about fixing her to the ceiling to save electricity, ooh she was going to get it the next time she mentioned Jareth and I having… feelings for eachother. If the look Des is giving her is any indication then she certainly has more to worry about than me! Wow! I've never seen that colour; it's even more impressive than the transparent girl in Potions!

**I thought we'd covered this, precious. **He hadn't noticed, urgh men!

Did you not see that!

**What, precious?**

Des…and Ginny, they were… Oh never mind! Idiotic, insensitive brute.

**Tell me! **

Nothing! You're so pushy!

**You don't think you're being a tad unfair?! I haven't even done anything and you just sit there accusing me and calling me names. I can see the Labyrinth was really maturing experience for you!**

I am not! I haven't accused you of anything! Anyway, you brought this on yourself, if you weren't so… cruel…and

**Manipulative? Cold? Did I act like a mean, nasty Goblin King? Well princess that would be because I **_**am**_** one! If you'd just look at yourself you'd see the same things in yourself! How many times did you reject me? Haughty, cold and cruel! And as for manipulative, what have you and your new **_**friend**_** been doing the past few days, hmm? **He sneered. **You know what? You're a spoilt brat only caring about your own feelings!**

Well so_rry_, by the way you acted one wouldn't think you had any! Spoilt? Hah, I bet you threw a temper tantrum when I beat you, _your Majesty_. His eyes narrowed. Oh, did I touch a nerve? I gave him an innocent look. Still sore? Hey I only went through the Labyrinth once, you must have dealt with it hundreds of times! Did the maturing experiences cancel each other out or what? As for rejecting you, it's not like it even meant anything.

Jareth snarled. **Never… Of course not **_**princess**_**, a little girl playing with people as much as her dolls, why would it!**

He was practically spitting the words. I drew myself up feeling like crying and spun around,

"Come on Ginny. Let's go to dinner." I sneered at Jareth and stalked through the door.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Er, Sarah?"

"What!"

"What exactly have your potatoes done to you? Whatever it is, were they really deserving of such a punishment?"

"I'm pretending there someone's head."

"Are you sure their head is deserving of such punishment?

"It's Jareth."

"Ahh, well that's alright then. I was worried it was someone who'd stolen… No wait Jareth's done that… who'd covered your house in… Hang on he's done that too…I'll get there in a minute." Sarah chuckled.

"Men are such prats." And promptly dissolved into tears over her much-abused dinner. Ginny patted her on the back and rubbed her arm, hauling her up she pulled her out of the great hall, hissing at people looking their way.

"Losers."

A seventh year spotted them and jogged over.

"Ah, damn!"

"Ginny!" He completely ignored Sarah who was currently wiping her slightly puffy eyes.

"Uh, hey…" She thought for a moment. "Jake."

"Hey, um, would you like to go with me on the next Hogsmeade trip?"

"Ah… I…I-"

" No." Des had materialised behind her, yellow-gold eyes glinting out from under his short, dark spiky hair. The boy blustered, drawing himself up to his (rather unimpressive height) Des didn't bother moving, he just looked down at him and sneered. He shifted weight forward, subtly flexing his muscles; Ginny slapped her forehead glaring at Sarah who was singing 'Neanderthal Man'. She smirked.

"I'm a Neanderthal man, you're…"

"Well Jake, I'm unavailable but, Sarah might like to." She pointed at the unsuspecting green-eyed girl, smiling innocently. Sarah's eyes widened and she looked furious.

"No she bloody well isn't!" Surprise, surprise look who else had turned up.

"Look Sarah! Our stalkers have united!" Sarah shoved Jareth away.

"It's not any of your business! You have no power over me!"

"Ooh, ouch." Ginny conjured some pom-poms and started chanting:

_2,4,6,8_

_Who does Sarah really hate?_

_Ja-reth, Ja-reth!_

"I would love to go out with you." The traumatised Ravenclaw looked at her fearfully and nodded furiously.

"You will not!"

"I _am_! Deal with it Jerk!" She flipped her dark curls and stormed out.

"…You're a Neanderthal girl. Huh we've been making _way_ too many dramatic exits recently." Ginny smiled suddenly and winked.

"See you soon!" She giggled as she walked away from the fuming fae about to descend on Jake.

"Have fun! Too-da-Loo!" She threw back her head and laughed all the way to the Gryffindor common room.

**Okay, Ginny's insane, oh well so am I. Anyway, Gerberas are flowers, I just picked something random 'cause I didn't feel like generic flowers like roses or lilies. His Nibs is a term I use for my three year old brother when he's demanding, I looked it up 'cause it's just something my family always says so I'm not entirely sure. Here's the official definition. **

**This is a mock title used to refer to a self-important man, especially one in authority. It is modelled after the pattern of references to the British aristocracy, such as **_**his lordship**_**. There is some evidence that **_**nibs**_** is a variant form of **_**nabs**_**, and that both may have their origin in the ancient word **_**neb**_**, meaning a beak or nose, or more generally, the protruding bit of anything (our word for the business end of a pen comes from the same root). Also, **_**nib**_** itself was once used as a slang term for a gentleman, as was another old slang word still to be heard, **_**nob**_**, and these could very probably be connected. Several early examples of the latter are spelled **_**nab**_** and **_**his nabs**_** is a variant recorded form of **_**his nibs**_**. It seems the vowel was highly fluid, not surprising considering the different dialects and periods it has come through. Perhaps the association with supposed social superiors may have something to do with people so elevated in self-importance that they "have their noses in the air"?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Ginny caught up with Sarah just as she got to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Come on, Sarah. Let's go listen in!" Ginny trilled, heading to her dorm, Sarah scowled.

"You can, I don't want to." She folded her arms. Ginny sagged, wheedling,

"Oh, come on! Think about what we could find out!"

"I've had enough Jareth for today, thank you!"

"Think of the blackmail material! You _need_ to listen in on his thoughts, we can compare notes!" Ginny gave her a puppy dog expression.

"You raise good points." She tilted her head. "Alright, but only if I get to use any material we get on Jareth. You can use Des's; I don't really know him all that well."

"What is this? Some sort of 'Etiquette for Blackmail'. You get stranger by the minute Sarah darling."

"No, I meant that I would help you and laugh at his humiliation and everything but I probably wouldn't set out to humiliate him for myself."  
"Same for me with Jareth. So, do you remember how to invade their minds?"

"Ginny! Don't call it that!"

"Why?"

"It sounds… Wrong." She shrugged at Ginny's look.

"Sarah, dear, we are taking advantage of their relaxation and spying on a heart to heart between brothers. If it sounds bad that's because it _is_."

"We are not! We are taking advantage of their _complacency_ and _protecting ourselves_ by _listening_ to a conversation that may reveal _hidden threats_ to our persons."

"Well, when you put it like that…"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**(****Jareth**_**Des**_**)**

Where'd that pesky idiot go? Hmmm… Aha! Got him!

Jareth and Des were facing each other sitting on the edge of two desks in the DADA classroom. We tuned in mid-rant.

"- is she bi-polar or what! I was about ready to rip the snots head off! You're lucky at least Ginny's reasonable! I haven't done anything unprovoked!"

_**Yeah, yeah I've got it **_**so** _**easy, I'm her friend, her **_**advisor**_**, her **_**protector**_**, wouldn't be surprised if she turned round and thanked me for being such a good **_**brother**_**! As if she needs another one! At least Jareth can help Sarah! What can **_**I**_** do? At least I got rid of those boyfriends of hers.**_

**Urgh, I bet he doesn't even appreciate what he's got with the witch. I'd give anything to talk to Sarah like he does with that human, probably a huge convoluted plot to destroy her, must be a descendant of his father or something, can't believe she was so trusting. Thinking he was her friend! She's as trusting as Sarah! What's up with Humans? Sarah gave her friendship to a flea-ridden delusional fox, an idiotic monster and a pusillanimous dwarf! What the hell's wrong with **_**me**_**! Women! They're all so irrational!**

"Ginny's not so reasonable. Bet she's practising a castrating spell right now!"

"You're so paranoid, Des. Besides, it's not like you can't just… move along whatever plan you've got."

_**What the hell is he talking about?**_

**If he kills her Sarah will be angry.**

"What plan?"

"Oh, you know very well!" Des looked blank.

"I assure you I don't!" Jareth rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

_**My brother is certifiably insane.**_

**My brother has such a low opinion of me if he thinks I haven't figured this out.**

"Why did you bring Sarah here?" Jareth looked innocent, admittedly he didn't pull it off well.

"I don't know what you mean. Sarah brought herself." Des looked at him levelly.

"Oh yeah, she brought herself here! That explains the _convenient_ crystal oh so _conveniently_ dropped by a _conveniently _nearby Goblin that _conveniently_ decided to mess up her bedroom with _convenient_ bog water that was on hand and _conveniently_ blamed the King the crystal was connected to who was _conveniently_ in a place no-one else (allegedly) could get her out of and who also is smitten, manipulative and doesn't take no for an answer even when it destroys the castle! And _then _she conveniently made friends with my Angel, your younger brothers human!"

"Now that last bit wasn't planned! Anyway, that seems a bit of a long-shot! How was I supposed to know she had such a temper?"

"Oh, right so the watching her since she was six didn't give you an understanding of her character and the bad day she had was just a _convenient_ coincidence!"

_**Yeah right, how old does he think I am?**_

**Well, he **_**is**_** my**__**brother.**

"Sarah is… unpredictable at best. It was not so much a plan as a… gamble. Although since she only had two choices I believe it was fairly safe, she has always been quite combative."

"So you did bring her here."

"Obviously."

"She is going to be really p***** off with you."

"I wasn't planning on telling her, not that there's much to tell really. Besides I wasn't planning on _telling_ her!"

You *******!

"Sarah?"

"What the hell?"

_You need to get a grip on that temper darlin'._

"Ginny?"

_Present, and __**boy**__ are you in for it!_

"How in the Underground is this possible?"

_You can do it to me but I can't do it to you? _She snarled. _Just wait 'til I get my hands on you!_

"Sarah! How… You're not a witch!"

No? Really? I hadn't guessed. God, Jareth! Forgetting so quickly my little trip? This is all _your_ fault!

"_My_ fault!"

If you had just given my brother back when I asked you none of this would have happened!

_How dare you scare off my boyfriends! You're __**worse **__than my brothers!_

"I think we all need to calm down."

_Calm down!_

Calm down!

_Are you suggesting I'm hysterical?!_

"Yes, I am. Now, I think we need to discuss this rationally. Why don't we come and find you after you've had some rest and-"

_Forget it! We are not talking to you!_

Right! Go mess someone else's life up!

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Sarah looked up, tears streaming down her face. Ginny appeared completely cool, her voice as warm as ice she said,

"And now we plot."

"Plot?" Sarah looked quizzical.

"Revenge." Ginny expanded succinctly. Sarah grinned evilly.

"They are going to regret the day they met us."

"Oh yes they bloody well are."

"We can't do anything right now; we'll have to lull them into a sense of false security."

"Yeah, the whole physical barrier thing worked. There must have been a hundred odd wards on that door!"

"Men are such idiots."

"Yeah."

"On with the plot!"

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Three days later, Jareth was in a rather bad mood, although it didn't rival another time in recent history, which, if he recalled correctly, involved a hurricane breaking out of the underground and ravaging a farm in Kansas. The date of this little mishap, if one looked closely, was around the time a certain teenage girl departed the Underground. This is of course an administrative mistake, because the King of the Goblins would never be so childish. The reason for this bad mood was that his hair had gone abruptly missing. A glance at Des confirmed he suffered the same thing. Another reason for this bad mood was that he was currently in the great hall subject to rather a lot of laughter. He met Sarah's eyes, certain she was the cause of this and grew back his hair. This unfortunately meant that when Ginny reversed the vanishing charm his hair was twice as long as usual. In the usual direction. He looked at his brother, in a similar state of fluffiness, and shrugged turning his hair back to normal, and carried on with his breakfast.

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"Damn! We'll have to try something better next time." Sarah scowled.

"Perhaps we ought to try something a little more... permanent." Suddenly an evil grin spread on Ginny's face as she looked at the staff table.

"I know just the thing."

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Emilia Vane stood outside the DADA classroom waiting for her detention to start when it happened.

"Urgh! What's that _smell_!"

"That, would be my classroom, Miss Vane." He waved a hand and replaced the classroom calmly, sending the old one to the bog.

"Bog water. I didn't like those curtains anyway.

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Sarah cursed from a nearby alcove.

"What shall we do now?"

"Don't worry, Sarah." Ginny replied stonily.

"I have an idea they can't ignore. The best thing is, they won't know we did it until they react. Can you fake cry on demand?"

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**Sorry it took so long for me to post this chapter. I'll try and get another one up in a few days.**

**LyssaOneiroi**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Umm, excuse me, Jake?" Sarah walked over to the Ravenclaw table at dinner, aware of the narrowed gaze directed at her from the staff table. The boy in question turned around and responded amicably.

"What's up?"

"Well, I'm really sorry but I can't go to Hogsmeade with you this weekend." She said in a rush, biting her lip. Jake glanced behind her at the staff table and gulped.

"Tha-That's fine. Bye!" And quickly turned back around, ignoring her. Sarah walked back to the Gryffindor table and when Ginny caught her eye, she winked.

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Ginny Weasley tied a piece of parchment to an owl's leg.

"Take this to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and peck them until they send something back."

The owl flew away and, whistling, she strolled down the stairs of the Owlery.

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"Jareth?" Sarah peered round the door of the DADA classroom.

"What is it, precious?" Warm breath tickled her ear and she whipped around, ending up nose to nose with Jareth. She blushed, hyper-aware his lips were less than an inch from hers, and... stepped back. Trying to concentrate on what she was here for she didn't notice a chair right behind her and would have fallen over it as she stumbled back had Jareth not caught her.

"I-I... I wanted to apologise." Jareth raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know I'd forgiven you and..." She babbled, Jareth was _not _making things easier by nuzzling her hair. She quickly forgot want she wanted to say when Jareth whispered in her ear, his arms still around her.

"You forgive me, precious? You apologise for your pranks? Why, we'd hardly got started! What's the matter? You don't feel _guilty _about such little trifles, do you?" He chuckled.

"I-I have to go and... and meet Ginny for Lunch. Bye!" She ran out of the classroom so fast she was a blur. _Damn Fae! I hate him!- I think._

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"If we do this to Jareth we have to do it to Des as well!" Sarah was immoveable.

"It won't work on him!" Ginny argued.

"Yes it will, Des is as in love with you as you _think_ Jareth is with me!"

"Fine." She replied hotly. "We'll do it to him too."

"We can use Snape!" Sarah exclaimed.

"_Nice_!" Ginny looked approvingly at her. "But, if we are going to do it to Des as well I say we make a wager."

"Ten galleons Des loves you and Jareth doesn't love me."

"Done! Oh and vice versa of course."

"Done."

"Anyway, the prank. Will I have to act the same as you?"

"Nah, I'll run away and you sit there in shock. That all right?"

"Can I storm out if he tries to talk to me?"

"Sure, you can be angry and I'll be sad." A thought then occurred to Ginny.

"Damn! That means I have to say sorry!"

"Yep! Oh, and we can do it at dinner so apologise before lunch." She ignored Ginny's glare.

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At breakfast an owl dropped a small package besides Ginny, she shared an evil look with Sarah and thought, _if this works we won't only have revenge, Sarah will have a confession as well! Oh I can't wait to see her face! _

She peeked inside, perfect.

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"How can we help, Miss? Do you want-" Ginny shook her head at the house-elf.

"Professor King and his guest just sent me down with their tonic." She held up two little bottles. "Can you put this one-" she lifted up one bottle and shook it, "In Professor King's dinner and this-" she held up the other one, "in his guest's dinner? They're fae you know, it's for the iron everywhere. It weakens them; these are to stop them getting sick. You have to mix it in food, they can't drink it or it won't work so well and they'll be in bed sick for weeks. Can you do that?"

"Oh yes, Miss. Hobbly would be honoured Miss!"

"Fantastic! Oh, don't tell anyone though, they would be awfully embarrassed!"

"Yes, Miss."

"Thank you very much Hobbly." The elf swelled with pride when Ginny smiled at her.

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Ginny put off apologising to Des until an hour before dinner, trying to forget that she had to. Eventually, however, Sarah had shoved her down the hallway saying if she had to do so would Ginny.

_Oh God, this is going to be unpleasant. He hates being my friend! He must think I'm really stupid, and he got rid of my boyfriends! Trying to make me miserable I bet. It's probably why he's here; I wouldn't talk to him so he's shown up in person. _She knocked on the door of his rooms.

"Hello, Angel." Des smiled at her and she felt her stomach turn to mush. "Do come in." She walked past him mutely and sat on an arm chair, Des sauntered to a chair opposite and leant on it's side still smiling.

"I thought you weren't speaking to me, Angel." _He is going to think I'm so pathetic and he'll probably just carry on with whatever plan he's got for making me miserable._

"I wasn't." She said quietly. Des quirked an eyebrow.

"What changed?" She didn't meet his eyes when she replied.

"I decided to forgive you." Des frowned.

"What's wrong Angel?" _Get a grip Ginny! She thought furiously, lie, act! Whatever!_ She smiled rather unconvincingly and made an effort to appear cheerful.

"Nothing at all, Des." Des started to feel angry now.

"Tell me!"

"There's nothing wrong!" She exclaimed.

"_Ginny_!"

"There isn't!"

"Ginevra! Don't lie to me!" Things were deteriorating fast, she couldn't think how to help the situation and burst into tears on the spot. _Great_, she thought sourly, _that helps, he'll really believe me now_. She couldn't stop sobbing even when she felt Des pick her up and hug her on his lap.

"What's wrong, Ginevra?" He asked softly. "You can tell me anything." Then she suddenly couldn't stop herself from blabbing out all her problems as she had for six years to him, even though she knew he wanted her to be miserable.

"You hate me and I'm going to win the bet and you're only pretending to care and you wish I were dead and you lied to me for six years and you got rid of all my boyfriends 'cause you want me to be miserable and-and."

"Shh." Des stroked her hair. "Why would winning a bet upset you?" He asked confusedly.

"It doesn't matter, it's a silly bet anyway." He shrugged letting that go for a moment and frowned again.

"What makes you think I hate you?" She pushed him away.

"I know you do. I heard what you were thinking." Des looked at her for a moment.

"I don't hate you."

"Yes you do! I heard you think that you didn't want to be my friend or have anything to do with me!" She thumped his chest when he grinned. "See I was right!"

"Silly, Angel." He whispered. "You _are_ right in some respects. I don't want to be your friend but didn't you realise that was because I want to be _more_ than a friend, not less?" Ginny's eyes widened, she felt like a little girl with tears still running down her face, she wiped them away.

"What do you mean?" She asked aware she sounded very naive and hating it.

"Don't you know? I love you, you daft girl!" Ginny froze in shock, jaw dropping.

"You-you...but...I." She stuttered and Des took the opportunity to swoop in and press his lips against hers. Ginny felt very warm, as though someone poured molten lava down her throat, but it certainly wasn't unpleasant! Hesitantly she started to kiss him back, he moaned as she flicked her tongue against his bottom lip.

"Well, well, well! Honestly, Des. I leave you alone for five minutes and you go kissing unsuspecting mortal girls." Ginny jumped and turned to scowl at Jareth, although she also felt rather grateful. _Des is probably lying, after all_, she told herself firmly, _so you have no business missing how good his lips felt moving against yours-stop that!_

"Out." Des commanded sharply to Jareth. He smirked.

"Fine, fine, I'm going. Don't do anything- scratch that. Have fun!" Jareth walked out again laughing. Des looked heatedly at Ginny but she avoided his gaze, he sighed.

"What is it?"

"You lied. You must have, you want me to be unhappy. That's why you got rid of the boys I liked so I would be emotionally dependent on you so you could hurt me easily. That's why you came when I wouldn't talk to you."

"That's ridiculous." He said flatly. "I don't want to hurt you, I wasn't lying, I've never lied to you, that's not why I came here and that's certainly not why I sent nightmares to your boyfriends." She looked at him defiantly.

"Then why did you?"

"Why did I what? Come here? I started to miss you within the hour and wanted you to believe me when I said that I did not intend to hurt you. How could you believe Jareth when you'd only just met him but believed the worst of me when I'd never lied to you in six years. How is that fair? As for the boyfriends... I was a bit jealous I admit. I didn't even do much! I only sent a few nightmares! For most of them it only took about three nights before they broke up with you so they really weren't that devoted!"

"How can believe you?" She asked quietly. Des ran his hand through his hair frustrated.

"I'll prove it." He grabbed her hand. Immediately she felt like she was falling. Flashes of her ran through her mind, every day for the last six years in a few seconds at most. Him soothing her nightmares. Him comforting her when Malfoy had hurt her feelings or when she had a detention. Except instead of just her feelings she was aware of Des's as well.

_Oh God! He was telling the truth! Damn! How am I going to stop the prank! He is going to be furious! Oh he's never going to forgive me! _She jolted back when he let go. She stared at him anxiously. Without a word she turned and ran out of the room.

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Sarah sat in the Great Hall waiting for Ginny to walk in. Jareth had already sat down and was waiting for the food to appear on his plate. Just then Ginny came running towards her, eyes puffy and red.

"You were right!" She gasped breathlessly. "He explained everything and you were right!"

"Who did? What are you talking about?" Sarah asked mystified.

"Des! We have to call off the Prank!" The said fae chose that moment to walk in, sending a sorrowful glance towards Ginny he walked towards Jareth and sat down heavily next to him. He started to mutter to him and they forgot their food for a minute as they talked. Ginny searched her pockets for her wand but didn't find it, she must have left it in her room. She searched around for someone likely to let her borrow their wand when it happened. Jareth gestured down at their food and both began to eat although Des very little. Sarah tugged on Ginny's sleeve, pointing to the staff table. Ginny sat down, horrified.

"God, Sarah! He'll mortified! Why didn't we think to have the antidote at hand!"

"Well we didn't anticipate a change of heart, dear. Look I'll stay with you and we won't carry out this plan-"

"No, no Sarah! You can have your revenge. Besides I'll just explain that I planned this when I believed..."

"He was a back-stabbing, human-hating, lying, deceitful, son of a bitch?" Sarah supplied helpfully. "Don't worry. I'm sure he'll forgive you. I'll go along with what we- oh look! It's starting!"

'It' was referring to Des reciting poetry to Professor Snape and Jareth serenading Dumbledore on bent knee, conjuring all sorts of flowers which he offered to him. Needless to say Professor Snape was rather angry.

"Get away from me you imbecile!"

"Darling Severus, you're wit is as lovely as your face. Your hair is so lovely and dark, your eyes-." He stopped and shouted.

"What the hell was all that about!" Jareth woke up at around the same time. He immediately looked for Sarah who looked at him with a shocked expression and ran out of the room. He disappeared following her. Des also looked for Ginny but instead of seeing shock he saw guilt... and then he saw red. He grabbed her arm and they disappeared of to his rooms.

**Sorry I haven't written this before. I don't own Labyrinth or Harry Potter. I was feeling very self-conscious about the rather sappy middle but I'm no good at writing that sort of thing although I'll probably do something sappy for Jareth and Sarah as well. I'll be doing Jareth's reaction to serenading Dumbledore next chapter and cover the prank from his POV which will be more detailed.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I sat and ate my dinner, motioning for Des to eat his as well. Apparently he's in love. Huh, whatever. As I ate I became aware of the most beautiful silver colour in my peripheral vision, I turned and was immediately star-struck by a long beard and the most wonderful eyes! It was the most beautiful person I've ever seen! I was immediately over-come with devotion and knelt before the wondrous paragon of magnificence professing my undying love, branding the crinkles of the delicate skin into my memory.

Then I realised I was on my knees in front of Dumbledore singing 'As the World Falls Down' while the whole school laughed. Sarah. Oh damn! I turned and saw her run out of the room, she's been getting a work out recently with all that running, so I vanished and appeared in front of her.

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"Sarah, I-" He didn't know quite what to say, this was just so wrong on so many levels.

"It's all right Jareth. I'm not homophobic; I think you and the Headmaster make a lovely couple." Sarah was trying desperately not to laugh at the look on his face; his jaw had almost hit the floor!

"I'm not-" He started. She carried on ignoring him.

"It's alright, you don't have to keep denying it. It explains quite a lot actually, your clothes, makeup, the wiseman..."

"_Excuse me?!"_

"I'm surprised I didn't see it before! You changed clothes about five times while I was running the Labyrinth, and your hair-" Jareth strode forward and shook her by the shoulders.

"I. Am. Not. Gay." Sarah frowned at him.

"There is no need to take that attitude! Homosexuality is perfectly natural! You _obviously_ are but... well, apparently denial isn't just a river in Egypt." Jareth flung his hands up and gave a strangled cry. "See? You're so over-dramatic! You were _made_ for Drag! You know, I didn't see a single girl outside the ballroom and junkyard but there were all those Goblins, Fieries, Dwarves, promiscuous or _what_! Is this thing with Dumbledore lasting? I think you and Hoggle would look great together. Yeah I can see it! The whole thing with the kiss and the bog! It makes so much _sense_!"

"Sarah!"

"Yes, Jareth?"

"I'm not gay, I was under the influence of some sort of spell-" He began calmly.

"Ah, love. That's what they all say."

"I'm serious!" He cried. She burst out laughing at the earnest look on his face.

He stood, frozen and confused, watching her roll about on the floor laughing. His expression darkened.

"Sarah, the… incident at lunch today wouldn't have anything to do with you, would it?" Sarah looked up still grinning, ignoring his tone and burst out laughing again. Before she could blink she was pressed up against the wall by an extremely irate Monarch.

"Des! Put her down!" Ginny ran into the room, pulling on Des's arm. "It was my idea!" She abruptly joined Sarah on the wall, courtesy of another Royal personage.

"Jareth! Leave her alone!" Sarah gasped. They both started to flail around, kicking blindly. Jareth waved his hand and they froze.

"You are going to explain _exactly_ what you thought you were doing, Sarah first." The two fae stepped back and gestured at Sarah.

"Err, we were still angry at you and thought it was a harmless prank that would hit you in the Royal egos and get a reaction from you?" It came out as a sort of question.

"It worked." Jareth growled.

"Your turn." Des pointed to Ginny.

"I thought you were going to kill me and that this would get Jareth to convince Sarah he loves her before she did something drastic under the impression you brought her here to get revenge and turn Toby into a chicken."

"Goblin." Jareth corrected.

"Same brain capacity." She shot back flippantly but forgot what she was going to say next when she caught sight of what was coming through the door, her jaw hit the floor.

A Goblin with a purple headband around his forehead wearing a lycra bodysuit and sparkly legwarmers strutted in followed by three chickens. And a stereo.

"Please, God! Burn out my eyes!" Sarah groaned trying to wipe the image of a fat, warty, bulbous, ugly Goblin threatening to fall out of it's skin tight clothes. It looked highly affronted and pulled out a rhinestone microphone and started to do an impression of a tortured jellyfish as, out of nowhere, music started to play. Everyone looked accusingly at Jareth who shook his head wildly.

"This is _not_ my fault!" The chickens started to do an odd sort of shuffling motion seeming to cluck what sounded vaguely like:

_Is this the real life-  
Is this just fantasy-  
Caught in a landslide-  
No escape from reality-  
Open your eyes  
Look up to the skies and see-  
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy-  
Because I'm easy come,easy go,  
A little high, little low,  
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me,  
To me  
_

Very, very out of tune, time and harmony. Members, evidently, of the Goblin King's Choir.

"My ears are bleeding!" Ginny groaned.

"I think I'll leave now." Jareth pulled out a crystal looking nauseous.

"I'll come with you." Des added quickly.

"Hey! What about us?" Sarah demanded.

"This is now, officially our revenge. Enjoy!" They bowed dramatically, disappearing in a cloud of glitter.

"We let it wear off, didn't we? Next time you're going to fall in love with Filch and Mrs. Norris!" Ginny shouted after them.

The Goblin burst into song with a wiggle of its hips which caused a… disturbing fact about the body suit to be revealed. It wasn't a bodysuit. It was a leotard the same shade as its skin.

_  
Mama, just killed a man,  
Put a gun against his head,  
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,  
Mama, life had just begun,  
But now I've gone and thrown it all away-  
Mama ooo,  
Didn't mean to make you cry-  
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow-  
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-_

It wasn't really singing, either. It was more like cross between a puking baby and a crow with tonsillitis. The song was so bad it actually _stank_. Oh wait, no that's the Goblin

_  
Too late, my time has come,  
Sends shivers down my spine-  
Body's aching all the time,  
Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-  
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-  
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)  
I don't want to die,  
I sometimes wish Id never been born at all-  
_The chickens then joined in.

"This is torture!" Sarah screamed over the cacophany.

"Help, help! We're going deaf!" The Goblin did a hip thrust. "And blind. Hopefully really, really soon!"

_I see a little silhouette of a man,  
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango-  
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-  
Galileo, galileo,  
Galileo galileo  
Galileo figaro-magnifico-  
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me-  
He's just a poor boy from a poor family-  
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-  
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-  
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-  
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go  
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go  
Will not let you go-let me go  
Will not let you go let me go  
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-  
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go-  
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me-_

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-  
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-  
Oh baby-cant do this to me baby-  
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Nothing really matters,  
Anyone can see,  
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Any way the wind blows....

The Goblin finished by being lifted up by the chickens, Jazz hands above his head.

"Taster session!" It cried looking hopefully at the two girls.

"Well done, you'll go far." Sarah croaked, _far into the bog_. It beamed and vanished.

"You know I mentioned crying? It seems like a really good idea right now." Ginny said tiredly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Jareth and Des arrived about five minutes later wearing smug smiles.

"I hate you." Sarah scowled. Jareth put a hand to his heart.

"You wound me precious."

"We've decided to forgive your little stunt, by the way. We figured you'd been punished enough." Des stifled a laugh.

"So good of you." Ginny thanked sarcastically. "I told you. We _tried_ to stop it but it was too late."

"Yes." Des drawled. "You _tried_."

"_Sorry_." Sarah mumbled. Jareth glared at her.

"_Thank you."_

"Oh, Des? By the way, what do you rule?" Sarah asked politely. Des looked at her suspiciously but answered all the same.

"Gremlins, why?"

"Would it work if I said, 'I wish the Gremlin King would take Ginny away for the next week to talk about their issues'? Not that I'm sick of you of course, Ginny, but you and Des need to talk." Des grinned and daggers shot out of Ginny's eyes.

"Thank _you_!"

"Hang on!" Ginny held up her hand. "That means you have to spend the rest of the week with Jareth, Sarah." Sarah scowled.

"Fine, but you'd better come back married!" Des just got more delighted but Ginny's jaw hit the floor, and then they were gone.

"Well, precious, looks like we're all alone." Jareth leant towards her with a lascivious grin, so she kneed him in the Royal Ego.

**That was fun to write! The song (Bohemian Rhapsody) was courtesy of KillerTeddyBear who is just fantastic, I'll be sticking with Jareth and Sarah and write the next week. Sorry for the delay but my Brother has come back from holiday and I'm not allowed to use his laptop. What a pity. **

**LyssaOneiroi **


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